Another one on the hook...

Vlad is looking like a good prospect but I don't know if I can meet him this week since I'm spending a big chunk of the weekend with my boyfriend. However, ironically, I won't really have the money to go out this weekend if I don't get some spoiling soon. So, it's kind of a chicken-and-the-egg scenario. Make money first like a sane person or just spend down my account and count on a sugardaddy coming through for me (ha! When has that ever been a good idea) next week?

In any case, I've got a new one on the line. I met him on Established Men and I'll call him Mr. Sexy. He initially was interested in a sexual relationship but once I explained what I was looking for he responded:

That sounds like a lot of fun to me.. and who knows what might happen down the road? Why don't you start off and set the tone and I'll follow your lead. It might make more sense if we move this over to e-mail too. My e-mail is xxx@yahoo.com. You be good sweetie! :)


How awesome is that? I have 2 solid potentials who are actively looking to connect with me. Now we'll see if I can get some spoiling in soon cause I have a party-filled weekend to go to.

A new site, new fantasy, and a new wishlist.

Hello girls (and boys, if there are any of you lurking around out there).

A new site I'm really liking is Established Men, a sugar website started by a former sugar baby. It's got really excellent design compared to other sites, there's no lag time in between editing your profile and seeing it go up, and unrestricted messaging is totally free. It's still a little smaller in terms of sugar daddies, but I like that - I feel like I'm getting in on the ground floor. I've been contacted by some quality guys on here...I really feel like something good will come out of it.

And now for my new potential, who I will call Vlad...remember how I'm looking for a sexy-but-not-sexual relationship with an older guy who likes to spoil? IE, money and fun domination with no sex? I may have found him. Read on.

Vlad placed a CL ad looking for a particular type of relationship. I emailed him telling him what I was looking for, and he emailed back:

Hi,

Thank you for the desription, and you seem great so far. Yes, I'm not looking for a sex relationship, just one based on teasing and fantasy. I'm white, late 30's, very fit, blue eyes, Married, and I also live in [my county]...[a town about 20 minutes from mine]. I think we could definitely help eachother out. I'll be online a bit later this evening. Thank you for the response

So then I said

What kind of teasing/fantasy are you looking for? I have a few ideas in mind for what I'm looking for but I'd love to hear your suggestions.

And he replied

Good timing, and I never heard back from you...at least for 5 days! Why don't you tell me what's on your mind? I had some pretty bad luck with the ad so far, hopefully this will be different!

So I told him


Sorry for the delay, I was having some computer problems with my beloved Mac. Well, I had in mind a few different ideas. Part of me would love to roleplay a spoiled Lolita-esque girl who takes advantage of her father-figure's adoration, while teasing him with pictures and descriptions of the naughty fun she's been having, and perhaps (occasionally, discretely) going shopping together. You treat me like a princess, I keep you pleasantly frustrated.

I would also be interested in a light dom/sub relationship (I'm the dominant one, you're the sub...or maybe we switch?)

Just some thoughts, let me know what sounds good or lines up with what you're looking for.


And theeeeen....


I love your scenarios and it is as if you read my mind..Lolita-Father figure and pleasantly frustrated...wow, I love your idea. I'd love to chat with you on details and make this begin to happen sooner than later.

Thank you again.


YAY. I'm not getting my hopes up yet but he's obvi very on board with my idea. The real question now is, how do we go about making this fantasy concrete? So far my ideas include shopping trips (with me all dolled up, teasing him and manipulating him into buying things for me), him sending me money to go out with my friends and boyfriend (maybe some cuckolding?), me sending him emails with photos and descriptions of how I had fun (without him) over the weekend, etc.

Quick wishlist:

1) New phone! Mine sucks. It's more than 2 years old now. I want something shiny.
2) A digital camera! I've wanted one of these soooo bad for so long. Documentation or it didn't happen.
3) An ipod touch. They rock.
4) Some cash in my emergency fund.
5) A trip to the salon to get my hair relaxed and blown out.
6) A vibrator (I've never owned one)
7) A collection of Burberry perfumes.
8) That Tiffany's bracelet I've been crazy about for years.
9) Some new clothes and a sweet pair of boots for winter.
10) My teeth whitened professionally.


Sugarbabies, I implore you. If you can think of any ideas for how to make this fantasy come alive, please let me know.

I'm back!

"I look around, I see a lot of new faces."

*giggles*

"Shut up! Which means a lot of you have been breaking the first two rules..."

(paraphrasing Fight Club...)


Hey sugars - I am back with a vengeance after a long (and much needed) break from the sugar doublelifestyle. Here's a quick rundown on what happened in the interim...

1) Went on my trip to the other side of the world.

2) Met a cute boy.

3) Left the long-time BF for that cute boy.

Alas, when I came back from the trip Mr. Nice wasn't picking up his texts from me any more. Guess he turned into Mr. Grumpy while I was away.

Whatever, girls. The thrill of sugar dating is that new money is always being made. I'm begininning to look around again now, only I'm changing the whole direction of my sugar lifestyle. Hold onto your socks cause they're going to get blown off by what I say next.

I'm no longer looking for a sex/money trade-off (come on, we can all be adults and admit that those are the 2 key components to the "traditional" sugar relationship, no matter how nicely you couch it). I am being 100 percent faithful to my current BF - he's too good to mess up - but I need money to pay for college, so I am coming back into the community in search of a friend, benefactor, patron, mentor, etc, etc, who will fund my college lifestyle without expecting sex in return. I am looking to exploit someone's "rich daddy/spoiled daughter" fetish or even possibly go for a light dominant/submissive theme.

Too much to hope for? I don't think so. There's one born every minute, as PT Barnum said, and the thrill is most definitely in the hunt.

PS - Yes, I can tell I'm becoming more jaded as time goes on. We can't be doe-eyed freshman forever, can we?

How to Juggle (a BF and and SD)

I've had a few ladies commenting on the difficulties which ensure when a girl attempts to have her cake and eat it too. Is it possible to juggle a sugar daddy and a boyfriend simultaneously? Absolutely, and I can tell you because I've been doing it successfully for the last 2 months. Here are a few tips and tricks I've worked out so far, but obviously YMMV. The cardinal rule for juggling is the same as in boxing - Always Protect Yourself.

1) Decide early who will know about who. In most cases, your boyfriend will remain in the dark, while your SD is aware of the entire situation. Since the SD is often married or, if divorced, has likely cheated on his wife in the past, he'll be a lot more understanding than your BF will be. If he needs a little ego stroke, tell him your boyfriend just isn't doing it for you any more in bed, and that you still have some wild oats to sow. This also works in the case of case of the man with reservations about getting involved with a taken woman. Men love playing the protector, so if you need to get your way, allowing them to "rescue" you provides them the perfect moral justification. Older men, especially, love hearing that they're beating out a younger, fitter guy for your sexual attention.

2) Create an alibi you can stick with. I needed one that would get me 3-4 hours of private time, once per week, while accounting for some of that extra cash in my pocket afterward. I created a "position" for myself as the "personal assistant" to my SD. I went the whole nine yards with it - I posted a craigslist ad for the job and created an email address to write to myself with, I printed out and filled out a contract of employment for myself, I wear work clothes if I know I'm going to come home after my boyfriend, etc. If you have a less anxious boyfriend than I do, you can probably just come up with whatever reason you feel like giving. Keep in mind, it's dangerous to say "I'm working late" if you work some place where he can call or drop by. Your alibi also needs to allow you time during which you won't be answering the phone - if you say "I'm going out to the mall," he may wonder what kind of shopping prevents you from picking up your cell for hours at a time. That's why I went with part-time job - our need for money makes it easier for him to believe and respect that than any other explanation I could think of.

3) Yes, there will be some deception involved. Do a gut-check and make sure you're really, truly ok with the occasional fib. This level of comfort will vary according to how serious your relationship is, how long you expect it to last, how much you need money, how much you like/dislike/love your SD, how independent you are, etc.

4) Cover yourself at all times. There's an old saying about how everyone likes sausage, but no one wants to see how it's made. Well, it's the same with your boyfriend enjoying the lifestyle allowed by your sugardaddy. Take precautions to protect everyone involved. Delete incriminating texts as soon as you've read and responded. Keep your phone on silent when either of them will be near you, in case the other one calls/texts. Check yourself for smells, smeared makeup, and rumpled clothes when coming from one man to another.

5) Give both men all your energy when you are with them. They both deserve your full, undivided attention.

Whoops, I'm getting lazy.

Sorry ladies, I know I haven't been updating as often as I should.

Saw Mr. Nice Tuesday of last week. Had a quick lunch at a tex-mex place and a very nice conversation. He told me that I was the best part of his day, and I blushed. The hotel we went to this time was not nearly as nice as the last one, very 70's and dated, and he apologized over and over for it. His insecurities are so adorable to me - I didn't care, I just wanted to be with him. The sex was great, again. There were times when I wanted to please him, but he wouldn't let me - he told me he got his pleasure from pleasing me, from seeing my face. That was a serious turn-on. We watched some History Channel together, talking and snuggling. That was really, really nice - just to cuddle and have some private-talk time to chat about our families, our jobs, our lives. He told me that he thought that in the near future he would feel comfortable with giving me the whole amount up front each month. I went straight away and bought my rent with the gift he gave me.

Since then we haven't spoken much - he might be traveling, I'm not sure, but I know one of the things he values about our relationship is that we each have our own space, and since I'm having my period this week I'm fine if we have a little time apart.

Yes, I do have a boyfriend as well as a sugardaddy. My SD knows about my BF, but my BF does not know about my SD. It is possible, and it is very satisfying, but you have to be very smart and careful and tactful.

A little sugar anectdote: I was having a really incredibly stressful day yesterday, and I had the thought "God, I wish I could see Mr. Nice." You know, because the good sex and good conversations and awesome backrubs he gives would mellow me out considerably. And I realized, wow, this must be how he feels all the time. He has a very stressful job - he's the boss, so people are always coming to him with problems, and when someone needs to be let go, he has to deal with that drama. So the moral is, sugarbabies, be kind to your daddies. You might be the best part of his day.

Quick update.

Sorry I haven't updated in a little while. Mr. Nice is traveling on business this week so we've planned to meet this coming Tuesday afternoon.

In other news, my beautiful VS linen pants came today, but alas I wasn't here to sign for the package, so I'll have to hope I'll be home Monday after 5 to get it.

Happy friday night sugars! I'm spending it eating veggie pizza with my bf and some friends, then catching up on the rest of the sugar blogs I read.

Spending, compliments of Mr. Nice.

Just a quick update...

Saturday night I went out with friends for an awesome dinner and was able to buy the exact dish I wanted, plus the best dessert ever (rum flavored zabaglione with the freshest blue/blackberries I've ever had), plus leave a 50% tip. All thanks to Mr. Nice's generosity.

Today I did quite a bit of shopping courtesy of Mr. Nice. First I went to the bank and deposited 400 of the 500 he gave me (will be paying bills with that) and then with what was left of the other 100 I went to the store and spent about 25 dollars on food for dinner (including some excellent quality steak) and a few things I needed around the apartment - boring but necessary things like dishwashing detergent and new scouring pads. Also bought some triple chocolate frozen yogurt - my favorite healthy dessert. As a bit of a treat I also bought a big bottle of that V8 fruit fusion stuff - that stuff is amazing and super healthy: a full serving of fruits and veggies in each serving. Also used some of the cash to fill my gas tank and buy lunch at work today.

Then when I got home I got out my VS gift card, went online, and bought those chocolate-brown linen pants from the Victoria's Secret website. They're having an awesome "25% off one item" sale so if you have, I dunno, a 100 dollar purse you've been dying for, go grab it for 75 dollars today. Should be here by 4/27/09, hooray!

I could get used to this lifestyle - suddenly having extra hundreds of dollars to throw around - but I'm trying not to let myself become accustomed. There is no greater danger to me now than overcontentment, especially as my arrangement has only just barely begun. As W. Somerset Maugham (the genius who wrote the novel The Painted Veil, the filmed version of which still resonates in me now, months after seeing it) wrote:

"If a nation values anything more than freedom,
it will lose its freedom; and the irony of it is
that if it is comfort or money that it values more,
it will lose that, too.

The Retin A is awesome. My skin is very very clear except for a few minor break-outs along my jawline, and it's incredibly soft and almost eeriely smooth. The few bits of hyperpigmentation I had left over are slowly fading. I kind of thought the "overall improvement in skin tone and texture" was just vague marketing BS, but seriously, it's the kind of thing you will notice changing immediately. I started off with a relatively low concentration (0.05%) but it's almost too gentle for me. I thought I would be cautious and go for the lower dose, since even 0.01% causes some people very severe burning and flaking. My skin is much hardier than I anticipated - next time I'm going up to 0.1%.

My dearest Chicago - I met Mr. Nice via Seeking Arrangement. Just goes to show you, not all the guys listed as millionaires with no pics are fakes!

Jezebel has done a few articles about the sugar lifestyle, but I think it's the comment sections that actually reveal the most about people's ill-conceived notions. Some day this week when I have less to do I'm going to go through all the assumptions and derisive statements about sugar dating and set the record straight.