Today's emails

I log in to my email account today and see Mr. Nice emailed me:

Hi [Sugar Kitten],

I had a nice time yesterday, you are really fun to be around. Hope I didn't bore you too much with all the financial talk. Did you enjoy yourself? I still don't have a phone as my charger is in the mail so I am out of contact otherwise I would send you a text. It feels weird not to have a phone.....that movie was a bit disjointed but fun to watch in any event, entertaining.

Let me know your thoughts on the whole money issue. It is tough to talk about but we do need to cross that bridge. I just would rather have an agreement (not arrangement haha) so we don't have to bring it up again.

How is your day going? Hope it is going well, this weather really sucks. Well talk to you soon. Take care

I just sent him this back:

Hi [Mr. Nice] -

I spent the day thinking about whether I should text you, but I decided I'd email you instead. Then I log in and you've beat me to it! Yes, I definitely did enjoy myself - I like hanging out with you, and shockingly, I actually do really appreciate your financial advice. Did I mention that Monopoly was my favorite board game growing up?

Sorry about your cell - I know how naked I feel on days when I forget my phone somewhere - it's like misplacing my alarm clock, watch, camera, computer, and phone all at once.

Duplicity wasn't bad, but it was thoroughly incomprehensible in spots. Maybe next time I will pick the rom-com :)

I agree about the agreement (haha) - I'd prefer to set it so that it simply happened at the beginning of each month so we wouldn't have to talk about it. I really appreciate you bringing it up though - I feel a little more comfortable talking about it now than I did at first.

I think the best thing, in terms of discretion, tact, and safety (and my personal comfort level) would be a wire transfer from your bank account to mine. Then I wouldn't have to handle/deposit anything. According to my infallible source, Google, you'd need my name, my bank's name, my account number, and my routing number.

[Sugar Kitten]
XY&Z
routing number: xxxxxxxx
account number: xxxxxxxx

Some nice person at your bank would probably be glad to help you, and I think there's a form you fill out. Maybe you can even make it automatic, I'm really not sure as all of my knowledge is theoretical, but I imagine there might be ways to do it.

Or if this turns out way too complicated, you can always just give me a check. That would be ok too.

Let me know how it all works out, if you need any more information, etc. It really was nice hanging out with you, and I appreciated the gift - I had the luxury of filling my gas tank all the way up today :)

Be safe,
[Sugar Kitten]

FYI - Yes, it is safe to have money wired to you. Bank-to-bank wire transfer is considered the safest payment method, both nationally and internationally. Both people must have proven identities, plus they use all kinds of encryption. The bank account number I sent Mr. Nice is not my primary account, either - it's a spare account which I only occasionally use to set aside money (ie - it usually has nothing in it). Always be safe, sugars.

Take a chance on me...

Yesterday went out with Mr. Nice. Had lunch, which was nice but a little bit of that haven't-seen-each-other-in-a-while awkwardness. He bought me the baby back ribs and a coffee. He told me about Vegas and we talked about the weather there (temperate) as opposed to here (constantly overcast and still chilly). We talked about pensions and 401Ks. We talked about the financial portion of the arrangement, and I said I would prefer a direct bank transfer. He said that was fine, he just hadn't been sure I would be comfortable with giving him that much personal info (my full real name, etc). Then he offered to go shopping with me, but I didn't want to miss any of the previews (haha yes, I am that person who likes trailers more than the actual movies), so we went straight over to the movie theater. He bought us 2 tickets for Duplicity and we went in.

The first half of the movie was strange - I was wearing a miniskirt and resting my feet on the seat in front of me, and I could tell he wanted to touch my legs by the way he kept finding excuses to brush his hand against my thigh. He kept commenting on what great shape I'm in. The arms between the seats didn't go up, so he couldn't put his arm around me. Then I got up to go to the bathroom and I thought "When I come back from the bathroom, I'm going to go for it," and apparently he had the same thought because as soon as I sat back down he reached across and held my left hand with his left hand. I had my legs up so our hands were kind of resting on my upper thigh. We held hands throughout the rest of the film - another hour or so.

After the movie he walked me to my car and we hugged, as usual, then we sort of did the side-of-the-mouth kiss twice. He asked "Can I get a real kiss?" and I laughed and said "Sure," and we kissed for a long moment. It wasn't as gross as I thought it would be, kissing a man 23 years my senior. He asked me if I wanted any money just then, and though I thought he was being a bit indelicate by asking that way, I said that if he wanted to give me some gas money I wouldn't mind. He pulled 2 hundred dollar bills out of his wallet and handed them to me. He told me he wouldn't be around til Friday of next week, and I said OK. He shut the door for me and I drove away.

So, that was my first date with Mr. Nice. We'll see what happens when I email him with my info.

Going on a date-date for the first time today.

Today Mr. Nice and I will be spending the afternoon dining and seeing a movie (just like a real couple!) We're going to have a nice long lunch at one of my favorite restaurants and then walk over the multiplex nearby and see Duplicity (Clive Owen and Julia Roberts? Hell yes!)

If we have any extra time I might walk him past the perfume store and see what his reaction is...I'm still very tentative about all this because we only kind of sort of discussed the arrangement the last time we met, so I'm being cautious and still regarding him as a "potential". But he said that this week we'd discuss the arrangement, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that everything works out. I'll let you guys know how it all went tonight.

Someone asked on my last entry why we didn't do lunch, then shopping, then dinner. In theory that sounds excellent, but our schedules won't allow it. He isn't available until nearly 2, and I have to leave by 6. We'd have to rush around too much to do all of that in a 4 hour time frame. I feel like lunch and movie is a pretty nice compromise though. Now off to shower and do my hair :)

AND Lost is on tonight! I have a feeling today will be a good day.

The phone call!

Mr. Nice just called me. I didn't pick up til too late so I immediately called him back. My heart was pounding so hard as it rang. He just asked me how my life was, I told him I was cooking some asian noodles I picked up recently. I asked him how Vegas was, he said it was great and that he actually managed to come back with more money than he left with, which is quite a feat. We talked a bit about what we wanted to do tomorrow - he reiterated that anything I wanted to do would be fine.

Hmm...what to do, what to do.

My Healthy Ego vs My Sugarbaby Id

To preface this I have to say: I'm one of those people who hates talking on the phone. I hate not knowing the faces people are making while I talk to them. I vastly prefer texting.

So today Mr. Nice texts me back: Yes I will be around all week let me check my schedule and get back to you. What are u thinking u want to do?

I didn't respond immediately, because I really had to sit back and think it over. What sort of date should I tell my SD I'd like? I mean, what I REALLY would like to do would be simply to see a movie together and then discuss it over a really tasty coffee. I'm low-maintenance like that.

But the SB side of me wasn't satisfied with that. My inner sugarbaby is kind of like my id - instinctive, impulsive, and self-protective. My inner SB isn't greedy like a child - she's cautious like an animal that remembers bone-deep hunger. My id tells me I should ask him to take me shopping now, while he is still actively trying to impress me, because in the future he will become lazy and complacent and want only sex. My id has a keen memory and thus often assumes the worst.

I texted him back that I would be interested in shopping, dining, or seeing a movie, or possibly some combo of the three, but that I believed it was his turn to choose.

He texted back hours later: All three sound like options. Is there a time I could call you today?

Ugh...back to my hatred of the phone. I told a little white lie and said I was busy all day because I wasn't feeling prepared to speak to him on the phone just then. I need some time to prepare myself, mentally. Plus, in case he's calling to set up the actual literal financial terms of the arrangement, there's some info I need to gather first (the number of my spare bank account where he'll wire my allowance, that sort of thing). There are so many ways in which I wish to impress him. I hope he feels the same about me.

So, we'll be speaking on the phone sometime tomorrow. When that happens I'll recap for you.

What I'd really like to do on our date is a compromise between my ego and my id - I'd like to go shopping for the Tiffany bracelet I've been salivating over forever, and then afterwards we'd catch a movie and some good strong coffee. That would be my ideal date. Now I'm off to figure out how to psychically beam the idea for this date into Mr. Nice's brain...

Beating the house.

Mr. Nice texted me this morning while I was at work. He's back from his Vegas trip. He sent me a quick little text that said "Back home. Made some money!"

He is so cute. I can tell he really wants this to function like a low-stress version of a gf/bf situation. It took me at least 30 minutes to respond to his text, even though I read it right away. I kept on revising it because I kept thinking of more stuff to say. Finally I sent him "Haha you'll have to show me your strategy someday. I'm at work and it's slooow. Will you be around Tues/Wed?"

I'm a little nervous that he hasn't texted back all day. I know he's probably just decompressing from the flights and the crazy mini-vacation he just took...actually, on second thought, he's probably responding to the hundreds of emails that built up while he was taking some brief time off to have fun. He's a crazy hard worker like that.

Current SB-related book: Memoirs of a Geisha. I've seen the movie and didn't think it was all that hot, but my close female friend convinced me that the book was waaaaay better, and I trust her taste. Plus, it's a whole book about a woman well-versed in the art of paid companionship - hoping I can learn a thing or two (yeah yeah, I know it's fiction, but the guy who wrote it really did interview a former geisha for source material). I've only just started, but it's quite good so far. It manages to do the whole Japanese metaphor thing without being cloying or cliche, and for that I must commend it. When I get to the good stuff I'll blog it here.

Is anyone else completely fucking IN LOVE with the current "bandage dress" trend? I definitely have the body to pull this off (almost 5'8'', 125 lbs, 34C-26-35), but I've purposely avoided such form-fitting dresses in the past for fear of looking "too sexy" and attracting the wrong kind of attention (with all the young urban men in my neighborhood, I usually do whatever I can to pass under their radar, and that includes avoiding might-as-well-be-naked dresses like these). But hell, if I'm going to be living this lifestyle, I'm going to revel in my near-perfect measurements. To hell with my conservative community's standard - I'm going to dress my curved like curves this year. No more wishing I could chop off my boobs so I could wear flapper dresses without looking obscene. No more figuring out ways to drop 10 to 15 pounds so I can pull off that gaunt-chic look. I'm gonna dress like a woman, damn it.

This all kind of goes along with my spring resolution to buy and wear WAY more dresses than I buy/wear now. Seriously, it's time for me to grow up and start wearing those kick-ass dresses that make me love Jackie O and Michelle Obama.

Of course, all this is assuming that this sugar daddy works out. But I'm not too worried - he took the initiative today to text me. He hasn't forgotten about us.

Invest young, retire young.

Mr. Nice is in Vegas this weekend, back next week. I'll see him Tuesday or Wednesday. Think we're going to see a film - need to do some research and see what he might like.

Been thinking looooong and hard about what I'm going to do with the extra money from my allowance. Some of it will be spent on silly things - clothes, shoes, Tiffany's, perfume, gourmet food - the things that will improve my "quality of life" in the here and now.

But what about the future?

This year, I'm setting a personal financial goal. I'm going to set aside 5000 dollars to invest in a Roth IRA (Individual Retirement Account, if you're unfamiliar). Roth IRA's are a great choice - unlike regular IRAs, which tax you when you take money out of them, a Roth IRA allows you to remove money from it tax-free at any time. Since over time tax-rates go up, it makes more sense to pay taxes up-front (or not, in the case of gift income) than to pay whatever the going tax rate is 40 years from now.

I've been reading a lot of financial advice, and after looking at some calculations, I realize that if I'm able to put away even 2000 a year into an IRA for the next 45 years (with a projected long-term return of 10%), by the time I'm 65 I'll have close to 2 million dollars. If I live another 30 years beyond that, to be 95, I'll be living on about 60,000 a year. Which, even in the year 2050, shouldn't be too shabby an income. If I can invest more each year, I can retire with even more than that, even EARLIER than that. And nothing sounds better to me than some sweet sweet early retirement.

Of course, I know my extra income from sugaring won't last. I need to make the most of it while I can, and that means investing in the future now, while time is on my side. I've loved the sugar journey so far, but I already recognize that it's simply a fun thing I'm doing while I'm a young starving student, not a full-time job or even necessarily a steady source of income. Hopefully by the time my productive life as a sugar baby is over (between 25 and 30), I'll have a solid career that's making me enough to live comfortably.

Sugarbabies, I implore you. Invest in your futures. Don't trust in Social Security. Invest young, ride out the market, retire young, and travel the world as that rich cougar who drinks pina coladas and makes all the cabana boys carry stacks of towels in front of their Speedos.

The Feminine Mystique and sugarbaby culture in the modern era.

Today's book: The Feminine Mystique, by Betty Friedan. A second-wave-feminist critique of the post-war "happy housewife" propaganda culture.

I read the first 4 chapters of this terrific book at my job today (I read when it gets slow), and I wondered how it might relate to the sugar lifestyle. Friedan makes the case that the "happy housewife" is a myth - that bright young girls are taught to tamp down their dreams as they age, and when they marry and have children, their identities and dreams become lost in the endless cycle of meaningless chores.

I see both sides of this - some women do find a very intense satisfaction in devoting themselves to their families. But I know that I am not that kind of woman myself. When I was out of work for months last year, I essentially lived as a housewife. I woke up whenever I wanted, stayed home all day except for when I went out with my boyfriend, cleaned and cooked each night, and had essentially no responsibilities. And it completely, completely sucked. I was bored out of my mind. I felt myself becoming stupider each day. I desperately craved human interaction. I let my looks go. I felt no sense of self-worth, because I was unable to accomplish anything. No one relied on me for anything. I became afraid of confrontation - so much so that I often avoided answering my phone or the door. I didn't want to see or talk to anyone because I was so ashamed of my inaction.

I thought about my sugardaddy and my allowance today. I realized that I'm actually glad my allowance is 2k a month instead of 3k. I'll be earning that extra thousand each month myself, instead of relying on my SD for it. I'll be relying on myself for most of my basic needs, instead of on a man. Mr. Nice will spoil me, but it will mostly be "fun money" and extra pocket change for all the little things I can't afford on a budget.

And I think that's how it should be. For me, at least.

My follow-up.

This afternoon I send Mr. Nice the necessary thank-you note:

Hey [Mr. Nice] - I know you're probably pretty busy today, just wanted to shoot you a quick email saying thanks for a really nice lunch, and thanks for making the financial discussion so painless for me. I don't really know quite how the actual logistics will work, but I'm sure we can figure it out next week. I'll happily bow to your experience on the matter.

Have fun in Vegas! I expect to hear at least one funny stripper-related story when you get back :)

- [Sugar Kitten]

This evening he texted me a response:

Hey just got your email it's been a CRAZY day but don't worry, we will work out the dreaded "arrangement" next week :)


So that's good news. He and I have an inside joke about the word "arrangement" - neither of us like it very much so whenever we use it, we do so while rolling our eyes. I think the best thing for me would be a direct deposit from his bank account to mine, but whatever, he's had SB's before so maybe he already has a method that works for him.

Have to work a straight 9 hour shift tomorrow, and I only slept about 3 hours last night. Def. need some sleep.

I probably won't have any of the really exciting sugar news until I see Mr. Nice next week, though, I currently am reading some books that relate to the SD/SB lifestyle, so I'm thinking my next post will be about those...until next week I'm just going to let myself daydream about how to spend my allowance, what to shop for when we shop, how I can best spoil him and make him feel good, fun places we could hang out, etc.

I kind of officially have a sugar daddy!

Gentle readers, I had a very successful second meeting with Mr. Nice today. We ate a late lunch (VERY late, as I was about 30 minutes late to the restaurant - the second time he's had to wait for me to find a place I picked out) and ended up spending almost 2 hours lingering over a nice meal of appetizers, entrees, and coffee.

I was worried we wouldn't have anything to talk about but we had PLENTY of subjects we hadn't touched on. He had a bad stalker-esque experience with a past SB, and we (well, mostly I) talked about politics and economics. We talked about his job in software and how he travels all the time, and he asked if I'd like to come with him sometimes (he travels within the US mainly to places like Texas and California, but also to places like Naples, Italy) - I said I'd have to think about it and let him know.

Towards the end, when we got to coffee, he brought up the financial part of the arrangement. I'd like to say that I gave him the confident little speech I had prepared, but I didn't. I got nervous at the mention of money and clammed up. Luckily, he immediately saw that I was uncomfortable and said that we could talk about it via email, and that he saw the amount on my profile (2K a month) and said that was fine with him, and that if I wanted we could spend some of our dates shopping with his card at the very upscale mall in his area.

So yeah, it looks like we're going to be meeting once a week and my allowance will be 2K a month, plus shopping privileges. He also said that if I ever got into a bad spot and needed some extra funds, I could ask him and he could provide me the help I need.

We talked about what our expectations were, and he was super reasonable about what he was thinking, in terms of sex. First he made sure I was looking for a physical relationship and not just a friendship - which I thought was pretty gentlemanly of him. Then he said that while he didn't mind waiting for me to be ready to take the next step and that he in no way wanted to pressure me (this guy brings up the "no pressure" thing constantly), he didn't think he could wait "100 dates" to be intimate (which is what one of his SBs in the past wanted to do). I said that was fine with me - I'm young, but I'm not naive, and I'm also looking for a physical relationship, so I had no trouble with that. I know my toned/curvy body turns him on and I know I'm good in bed, and I'd love to share both those things with the right person. I'm wondering if as an older guy, he has some awesome tricks in bed that he'd like to show me...

It's funny how much more attractive someone becomes to you when you really start to like their personality. Maybe it was the awesome lighting in the restaurant, but after a couple hours of fun banter and witty repartee Mr. Nice started to appeal to me a lot more then he did last time. I feel the start of a sense of fondness towards him growing within me. Not love, but friendliness.

Hurrah! I still have to email him (he checks his email 200 times a day -he says he checks it last thing before he goes to sleep and first thing when he wakes up in the morning) and ask him about how exactly he's handled the fund transfer with his past SB's. He's a good guy who really likes me, and our personalities mesh quite well. He's "real", if you know what I mean.

I'm really, really happy with how this has turned out. But I won't get my hopes up too far until I see some actual fiscal responsibility from him, if you know what I mean. Hoping that will be soon - I've got a couple of bills that have come due recently, and while I do have the money to pay them myself, it'll be a tight month.

Keep hope alive, all you sugar babies who have not found your daddies yet! There are nice, cool, real guys out there who do have money and do want to spoil you.

PS - Someone - Jess Bunny maybe? - asked where I live that my living expenses could be 1200 a month - I live in a suburb of Washington DC, and I split the rent with my boyfriend. It's about 1000 a month rent for a decent 2 bedroom apartment here, so I only pay about 500 a month rent.

Things that young hip people like.

A few updates to tide you ravenous sugars over for the weekend...

Confirmed with Mr. Nice for Tuesday. Man, I freaking LOVE Clyde's, the food is delicious and the service is great. I'm on a seafood binge right now so if they have crab or salmon I'll definitely be ordering that. We'll see how Mr. Nice handles the check/tip at the end of the night...I feel like the way someone handles a restaurant bill says a lot about a SD's character.

Beauty stuff...I ordered the Retin A last week. 10 to 21 days to ship, so at the worst it'll come by the very end of this month. Can't wait. Did another at-home glycolic acid peel today (not so much a peel as a mask, really) and my skin is looking pretty decent. Need to keep it in good shape for Tuesday, so no more going to bed without washing my face (the cardinal sin!)

Came across a really good "tell-all" article about beauty on Allure's website today: Confessions of a Beauty Editor.

As far as clothes go, my current obsession is Urban Outfitters. I'd have to lose 10 or 15 pounds before I would look good in anything they sell (which would be a little tricky - I'm already a size 2/4) , but I still adore their ugly/pretty clothes.

Ahh I can't wait to go traveling this summer! I've got such bad wanderlust. I'll do some traveling in Asia for a couple of weeks and also a week or so along the west coast of America. This is all new for me - I've never even been on a plane before! While in Asia I plan on eating all the strangest, most unusual food I can possibly find (fried crickets, anyone?). I'll also be doing several hours of walking/hiking each day though (walking burns about 100 calories an hour) so hopefully the calories will balance out.

Ok, that's it for now, happy weekend sugars! Hope everyone's keeping hope alive in their search for a SD.

You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.

Boston: Still MIA. Tired of chasing this guy, but he lives sooooo close to me that I'm really tempted just because it'll be so much more convenient. Plus, I'm more sexually attracted to him than I am to Mr. Nice. Probably because of his irritating cockiness. Ah well. If anything new develops I'll blog it ASAP.

Going out to a late lunch with Mr. Nice at Clyde's on Tuesday afternoon. He's very cool in that he is the pursuant one in our relationship - he sent a follow-up email the night after our date asking for a second meeting, which was very sweet. At first I thought this guy might be creepy and desperate, but the more I communicate with him, the more I see he's just a sweet guy who's going through a hard divorce all alone. I can only imagine what a blow to your self-esteem a divorce must be, esp. after 15+ years of marriage.

Some SDs are looking for sex and kink, some are looking for arm candy, some are guys stuck in fratboy-mode for the rest of their lives. But this guy seems like he just badly needs a companion and a friendly ear.

Going to try to bring up the allowance question at our lunch. It's funny, I almost didn't go to our first date. I got lost on the way there, ended up passing it, then turned around to come home. Luckily on the way home I saw the road I was supposed to turn on to and made a last-second decision to go through with it. And now I'm really, really glad I did.

On my profile I say I need a SD who can afford at least 2000 a month - I'm def. going to try for 3000 a month with Mr. Nice. He's making 500,000+ a year, so I'm pretty sure he can afford it. I heard someone say on the SA blog that it should be like tithes - 10% of the SD's income! I think that's a little extreme - I would not feel comfortable accepting that amount of money from a man. I think that at first, a sugarbaby should determine her needs independent of any daddy. THEN when she meets a man, she can see what he has to offer her and adjust her expectations accordingly. Once again, I will quote from the now-defunct blog, Wannabe Sugarbaby:

"Don't say "what am I worth to you," you need to tell him what you think you're worth. In my opinion, you should ask for an amount that covers all your monthly bills, including rent and leaves you with enough cash for two spa trips. "

(I wish she had kept updating! She gave good advice and was really experienced. Tiffany, if you're reading this, please come back!)

Now, for me, that amount is probably about 2K. 1200 in rent and bills, plus 2 generous spa trips. I could live very, very comfortably for 2 thousand a month. But for an extra grand a month, I could live like the freaking queen of England. And for a guy who makes somewhere close to a million dollars a year, the difference between 24,000 and 36,000 is elementary.

So yeah. I made another wishlist today, but this one includes investing in a Roth IRA for my retirement. Remember sugarbabes - save some of that sugar for your golden years! Sugaring is great, but it won't last forever. Invest a little while you're young and you can be a millionaire when you're old. True story.

(Image: Machu Picchu, one of the places I MUST visit before I die. So freaking beautiful.)

My date with Mr. Nice

I'm officially changing J's nickname to Mr. Nice...reasons to be disseminated here.

Ok, so, Wednesday afternoon I met with Mr. Nice for coffee at a Starbucks. We spoke for about an hour about various things: his divorce, his kids, his work and travel, my work, my school, our hobbies. He was incredibly nice - in fact, he was beyond nice, he was almost desperately pleasant. Boston, in retrospect, now seems stand-offish and arrogant. Our convo was easy and fun - I felt at ease with him immediately.

Mr. Nice wanted to go to lunch with me, but that was a little too quick for me. I've only just started my sugar career, but I've already got a set routine with potential sugar daddies: coffee, then lunch/dinner, and at that second meal I feel it's just about the right time to decide if it's time to go forward with an arrangement.

Next week he's going to Vegas with some friends for a long weekend (he says occasional gambling is his main vice), but he wants to have lunch with me. He was very no-pressure, which I liked a lot. He just wants something light and friendly while he goes through his divorce. He seemed like he was really desperate for companionship. Yeah, I'll be seeing him again.

It's so strange - Mr. Nice makes A LOT of money (his bracket is 500 thousand to a million a year) - a lot more than Boston. But he was so much more laid-back, just an easy-going and normal guy. Isn't that strange? You'd think the more money someone makes, the more driven and insufferable that person would be. You'd also think that to make that much money, the person would have to be really aggressive. But Mr. Nice was the opposite of those things. Which is pretty cool. I'm going to try to see him again next Tuesday, during which we will discuss arrangement terms. I'll let you guys know.

To everyone who's commenting on my blog: thank you for your support! It's the comments that make me want to keep writing. Here's hoping all you sugar babes find a sweet daddy very soon.

Miniature panic attack.

Had a weird little thing this morning just now, right when I woke up. I started feeling really panicked and stressed out and my heart was pounding. It only lasted a minute or so, but geeze, it really freaked me out. I've only ever had one panic attack before in my whole life, and this felt like the beginning of one.

Ok, J emailed back and we've agreed to meet at a Starbucks about 50 minutes from my house. I need to start getting ready now if I want to be able to leave in time. I'll post when I get home from work tonight about how it went and whether or not it looks like I might have successfully landed a cool sugardaddy. Cross your fingers for me ladies!

Limbo

Stuck nowhere right now, waiting for J to email me back confirming he's available to meet tomorrow...I'll give him a more creative blog nickname as things develop and I find out more about him. Maybe "Mr. Millionaire" hahaha.

Just put the order for in the mail for my Retin A 0.05%...it says on the order form to allow 10 to 21 days for delivery. 3 weeks? Seriously? Is it coming by Pony Express? In any case, I'm seriously looking forward to it. You guys have probably noticed how much I love experimenting on my skin. Need to make sure I buy a good moisturizer with strong SPF to go along with it (the active ingredient makes your skin super sensitive to the sun). Should also buy a cute hat and some kick-ass giant sunglasses. Maybe I can go shopping tomorrow before my coffee date with J...

J is the one who offered to let me go shopping with his card sometimes. I'm pondering what sorts of things I would buy with someone else's credit card...honestly, I think on the first shopping trip I would buy completely responsible stuff at Costco or Target - dishwashing soap, contact solution, toilet paper, cat food. It would be nice to have a little back-up on these kinds of basics in case our arrangement ends suddenly and I don't have as much expendable cash on hand. Plus, I hate going to the store any more than absolutely necessary, so buying in bulk is the perfect M.O. for me.

Then after those basics are covered....clothes, clothes, and more clothes. I haven't bought new clothes in a long time, so a whole closet full would make me feel like a very spoiled little princess indeed. And how cute are these petal-pink Louboutins?

New sugar daddy prospect on the line...proceeding with caution.

New email from the decent-looking millionaire J:

"This week is pretty good for me, the best days would be Wednesday or Friday. I work in Xxxxx. Can we meet half way? Perhaps Xxxxx would work, I am assuming you are in Xxxxxx as that is what the profile says. I could make it around 2 pm either day if you want to have a late lunch or meet for coffee. You can get me on my cell if you want to talk first xxx-xxx-xxxx Feel free to call anytime. Take care."

Big giant brownie points for making a date and also for suggesting we meet halfway - esp. as he works an hour away from my place. I'm probably going to try to meet with him Wednesday, ie, tomorrow. Don't know if Boston will be around, but he's not doing anything to pursue our relationship, so I might let him dangle in the wind for a little while.

(Yeah, I know he has to work hard to remain rich enough to be a sugar daddy, but would it kill him to take 30 seconds to text me once in a while? It costs nothing to be polite.)

Geeze, it's weird how it's so easy to become attached to potential guys before they've even shown any SD qualities. I'm def. going to keep trying with Boston, and boy, it would be awesome to have 2 SDs.

OK, I'm writing J back now with the address of a Starbucks that's semi-in-between our locations. Woo! If I can meet with J AND Boston, this might be a very good week for me.

Hehehe - I'm signed up for the urban dictionary word of the day, and a few days ago they sent me a word which I thought appropriate, and I wanted to share it:

	sexsuade
	To convince someone to agree to, accept, or do something, usually by using the promise of sex (explicit or implicit) or by withholding sex until you get your way. Girl 1: My bf won't take me out to dinner. Girl 2: You need to sexsuade that man!

Hahahahaha. Love it.

Boston unavailable, Fat Daddy impolite. Story of my life.

Boston texted me back 30 min. later, saying that he's swamped today and tomorrow. I texted him back that it was ok and that I'd try him again later this week. Anyone else annoyed by this kind of behavior? I don't just want him to chase me - I want him to WANT to chase me. He's the big-shot here, he's the experienced one...I don't need him to hold my hand through this, but if he wanted to do 50% of the work, I sure as hell wouldn't mind.

Well in any case, I kind of wish we could just skip the whole awkward first couple of dates thing and get straight to a nice, straight-forward arrangement. I have a feeling that although our conversations are only so-so in terms of interest, our sexual compatibility will be quite high.

I wish I could just skip ahead a couple of months to a time when we can have silly pillow talk and tickling and nuzzling without it being awkward. A time when we can just hang out and watch movies, or spend all day in bed. A time when I can ask him all those intimate questions about his life and his personal philosophies and what brought him to this lifestyle. Those are the moments I live for. That's what I'm looking for in my ideal SD relationship.

SO YEAH. Going to try him Wednesday or Thursday. Got plenty of time this month before bills come due, so going to spend it romancing some potential daddies.

In other news, got an email from a guy I'll call Fat Daddy. FD and I emailed back and forth a little - his letters were awesome, smart, kind, cultured. But when he sent his pictures, I'll admit - I was turned off. The guy must weigh 275, 300 pounds. And he's not just one of those "built" linebacker types - he's the fat/sweaty type who you can picture getting winded while walking up stairs.

But I didn't want to burn that bridge until I was secure in my relationship with another SD. So I told him that I was starting something up with another SD and that I only wanted ONE arrangement at a time. Then at the end of last month when I was really strapped for cash, I emailed him. But my other SD - a guy who I haven't mentioned on this blog before, I'll call him Mr. Sensitivity - came through for me, and I was able to make rent.

But right around this time, Fat Daddy's emails became a little rude - curt, even. I told him I couldn't meet him one day because I had to take my mom out. He wrote back "Sure...blow mom off." Rude, right? He had previously referred to himself as a Southern Gentleman, but he wrote several emails that really put me off.

So today he writes me and says "You still around baby? Still interested?"

Ugh. Don't call me "baby" unless we've been dating for at least a year, and/or you've been providing me 2 to 3 grand in spoiling each month. Most likely will not be responding.

Only the wrong guys are pursuing me. Going running tonight so that I can be in awesome shape when I start screwing around with Boston. Going to glaze my hair and do some strategic hair removal tonight.

I'm not sure I have the courage for this...plus, good advice.

I'm laying around in my bed, naked, with the window open and the glorious spring weather rushing in. Got my cell phone here...trying to make myself text Boston so that he knows I'm available all day today. To get this sugar train rolling we need to have a second date during which we have a little sexy time and I get him aroused. Then he will be putty in my hands, so to speak. Wannabe Sugarbaby has a great post about this on her long-abandoned blog. She says:

"First off, try to get a feel for how generous he will be by the places he takes you to and how well he tips. Next make sure you're into him and he's into you, take your time here, go on a few dates if you need to. Finally when you feel the time his right (basically you both click and he wants you sexually) bring up the topic by saying he's wonderful and you like him a lot but you have certain needs as well....You can kiss and fool around, but NO sex (oral included) until he begins to help you. Capice?"

So, yeah. I'm in a tricky spot right now. I need to go buy a new skirt before I see Boston again - I have a feeling that would expedite the process of making him my SD considerably. Plus I need to finish all this up by 6 PM, ideally, as that's when my boyfriend gets home from work.

Wish he would chase me a little bit more than I'm chasing him. It's frustrating. But I guess I'm only letting myself be frustrated by it because I'm placing him above me as "the more important person in the realtionship." When really, we should be on equal ground. We both have something to give, and we both want something. I wish I knew more about game theory.

Ok, texting him now.

Hey [Boston], it's [me]. Are you free to hang out today? If not its cool - I'm on spring break so I'm available all week. Let me know.

Message sent. Trying to keep it light but specific. Decided against a smiley at the end. Ok, officially time to shower and put on clothes now. I'll keep you updated when he texts back. He's glued to his blackberry so it shouldn't take long.

Also might be ordering my retin-A cream today...we'll see. Depends on what he texts back.

Longest weekend of all time.

Friday: Watchmen was great, but the editing was indulgent. Save something for the Director's Cut, buddy. Also, RDJ is not sexy when he has a fat neck prosthetic on. Sadly. Still, one of my favorite comic book movies of all time.

Saturday: Worked all day, then had a bonfire with friends. Actually a genuinely awesome day.

Today: Worked from 8 AM to 8 PM with no lunch or breaks. Came home all zombified.

In between working my butt off and reading the gloom-and-doom newspaper's stories about the economy, I resolved to redouble my efforts to find a nice, lucrative daddy in the next few weeks. 9 bucks an hour just ain't cutting it. More later.

One of the best days ever. Plus, RDJ!

Wow, today has been amazing. Not as much on the sugar front (though if you want the newest SD news you can skip right to the bottom), but on the personal front it's been great.

First of all, the weather kicked all kinds of ass. It's the first spring-y day we've had, and it felt soooooooo good when I walked out of my front door this morning in just a light sweater. It was breezy and fresh the whole day. After MONTHS of painful bracing cold, my mood shot through the roof when I saw how nice it would be (a balmy 72).

Second, I worked really hard and turned in everything I needed to turn in for one of my classes that's ending this week. I actually buckled down and wrote out a 6 pages paper I had to finish. And it took way less time than I thought it would. Guess I'm just that good.

Third, I totally came through for my job at a time when they really needed someone to come in and cover. For once I was actually completely necessary and not at all redundant. You know Maslow's Pyramid of Self-Actualization? I was right there on the top, baby.

Fourth, my awesome boyfriend (just my normal sweet boyfriend, not a SD at all) is taking me out to see the new Watchmen movie tonight, and I am so FREAKING excited. We haven't been out on a date-date in a while - we're due. And I really can't wait to see this movie. I will take any excuse to watch Robert Downey Jr. on screen. Or off. Or from the branches of a tree outside his house. Seriously, I love this man. The only thing that sucks is how much he looks like my ex boyfriend who I still have a big soft spot for, even though I haven't seen him in over a year. Well, in any case, I <3 RDJ. If you're like me and have a giant fetish for him, go youtube "I Want Love". Seriously, you won't regret it.

Fifth, tomorrow I get to hang out with all my friends who are home from college. I rarely get to see them, so this will be a serious treat for me.

Sixth, I got emails from both J and S with pictures attached. S is kind of creepy looking, but it might just be the picture. J is not bad looking, but not really my type. He looks like he'd be a lot of fun to hang out with though. I'll definitely make a date with him and set something up. Who knows? Maybe in real life he's the most magnetic, charismatic, awesome guy ever. In any case, I know he's got lots of cash to blow, and that's really the ace in the hole for me.

Working all weekend, then figuring out how to nab Boston sometime next week. She's a man-eater...

Seperating the men from the boys...

Prospective sugar daddies:

J is a blond-haired, blue-eyed, real-estate-rich bachelor.

J's message: Hi - I like your profile, you sound fun. I am looking for something similar and yes you could use my card for shopping but only once in a while, lol

Anyway check out my profile and let me know if you want to talk, take care

Nice! Brownie points for mentioning shopping in a way which let me know he's read my profile. No pic though - we'll see what he believes an "average" body type is.

S is a 44-year old millionaire with a graduate degree. He describes himself as "slim" which might mean "frightenly gaunt" or "delicious slender", depending on the guy.

S's message: Hello,
It appears we're looking for the same thing. And I do find you quite attractive. If you're interested, would you contact me at xxxx@xxxxxxxx.com

And if you're willing, I'd love to see additional photos.
S

Not bad - like any red-blooded American, I like the idea of having millionaire friends at my disposal. If his numbers are real, he could take care of me in all the ways I'm looking for. Plus he's married, so like me, he would only want to meet one day a week. But the fact that he'd like additional pics strikes me as a little sketch - especially considering the fact that he does not have any pics at all on his SA page. Pic collector? We'll see. I'm going to email both back and ask for photos - time to seperate the men from the boys.

Got an email back from Boston - in response for my wish to reschedule, he said "Ok, let me know what works for you." Awesome - the ball's in my court on that one. I really want to see the Watchmen movie - I love Robert Downey Jr. and want to have his babies - so maybe I can drag Boston to that one day next week. Plus a movie theater would give us some prime making-out time, and I definitely want to try to get in some lip time the next time we meet. Do guys who are almost 40 like that sort of thing? I guess we'll find out...

Mmm...linen.

I freaking LOVE the VS Luxe Linen line. Say that 5 times fast.

If/when I get a SD, I'm going to buy practically everything in that line for my trip to (hot and humid) south-east Asia. Linen is the quintessential "casual yet elegant" rich-person cloth.

Work called and asked if I could cover the afternoon shift tomorrow, so I emailed Boston and told him that next week would be better for me. We'll see if he wants the pootie enough to wait for it...in the mean time I'll be making plans with other SDs. Always have to have back-up.

I've been sitting, waiting, wishing...

Boston said he wants to shoot for a meeting "later this week" - well, it's Thursday, and here I am, like a girl in a 1950's movie, checking my cell phone and email every few seconds, waiting to hear from him. I know I shouldn't be doing this - I know I should be a strong, independent girl who can just barely pencil him in to my schedule - but the truth is, I like this guy and I am seriously jonesing for some disposable income. I don't want to miss my chance when it comes. In fact I made a little list of the stuff I'll want to buy when/if I get an allowance:

1. Put away 500 dollars so that I have a one-month rent cushion, just in case.
2. One tube Retin A cream, 0.05%, $16.95 + $10.00 shipping.
3. Pay off a big part of my TKD bill each month until it's totally paid off (this will be $2000+)
4. Buy some new clothes and shoes to wear around him so he has a strong visual reminder of his investment. Flirty spring skirts (this month is going out like a lamb, after all), a few dresses, beautiful little heels of all shapes and colors, and tops that show my narrow waist and large chest to their greatest advantage.
5. In time - I will FINALLY buy a few things for myself that I have coveted for YEARS. A bottle of Burberry Brit for Women, a Tiffany's oval-tag bracelet, a turquoise ipod, and a pair of those fucking ADORABLE ruffle-front Louboutin heels. Yup - I'm all about the status symbols, baby.
6. All the normal stuff - another year's worth of contact lenses, a full tank of gas, and maybe a costco membership so I can buy the gallon-size jar of hummus...
7. Oh yeah - I'm traveling to Asia this summer and need to put away a bunch of money (like 800 dollars) so that I'll have spending money while I'm there. After watching an awesome show on the food channal, I intend to try to eat as many things as possible from street vendors, and of course I want to bring home awesome trinkets for my friends, family, boyfriend, and sugar daddy! I also need to buy clothes that will see me through the trip - I've been advised it will be hot and humid and rain a lot, so I should wear linen pants that will dry quickly when the sun comes out. I also need to be covered up modestly enough so that I can go into the religious temples, etc.
8. Take my mom and dad out for a NICE dinner. When they go out they go to McDonald's, Blimpy's...that kind of place. They NEVER take themselves anywhere nice. So since both of them had their birthdays in February (but I was too broke to bring them anything but baked goods) I'd like to do them a solid and have them come out with me to our local upscale watering hole. They deserve it.

Ok. Off to the store to buy tweezers so I can make myself beautiful.

"I ain't talkin' about rich, I'm talking about WEALTH."

I Do Not Have AIDS

I gave blood a couple of weeks ago and I finally got the letter back from them today. They screen your blood for all kinds of stuff - mostly STDS - and then notify you of your elegibility status by mail.

Now, I've had a lot of sex in my 20 years of life. 5 partners, 4 of whom I've had unprotected sex with at some point. I know I've been stupid - it's not the carefree days of yore when the worst that could happen was a scorching case of veeeeeeedeeeeeee. We live in the world of AIDS now, and the risks are very, very real. More than half a million people in America are living with AIDS right this moment, and another 56,000 will contract HIV sometime this year. The worst thing abut AIDS is that you can contract it and not even realize it for YEARS - by which time you might have caused a chain reaction of hundreds of infections. I've taken some pretty big gambles with my health, and I've never had an STD test. I know I probably sound like an irresponsible floozy, but I'm willing to bet my sexual hygiene is no worse than most other college sophomores out there. I'll redeem myself with a PSA at the end of this post, ok?

So when they told me they would test my blood, I was nervous. I didn't know what kind of results might come back. What was I going to do if I had HIV? What if I had given it to my (always faithful) boyfriend? How would I explain to my family? How would I live the rest of my life? Would I die soon, or would I linger for decades, stop-gapping the dam with a slew of expensive first-world drugs? Would I be able to live with the survivor's guilt, knowing that I was only alive because my family is rich enough (and white enough) to afford the antiretroviral therapy to keep me alive when so many others have died?

Yeah, my imagination gets crazy when I contemplate my mortality. Suffice it to say, my stomach did a big twist when I saw the "Blood Donor Services" letter in the mail today. I literally did the "deep breath" thing to came myself as I tore it open.

Thanks to whatever deity is up there - I don't have HIV or AIDS or any other funny business floating around in there. My blood is clean enough to go into another person's body.

If you'll pardon the turn of phrase - there's something so heart-rending about giving blood. My very source of being might be replenishing someone else - what passed through my heart will pass through someone else's. I'm thrilled and electrified by the idea of such intense intacy with a complete stranger. This is the most personal gift I can possibly give - more "real" than sexual intimacy, even. More concrete and tangible. You can't pick favorites - the violent chaos of the universe chooses for you.

Plus, for the first time in my life, I got to find out my blood type. B+. Only about 8% of the population is B. The letter said because it's rare it'll probably really help someone. Although it's ok for everyone to receive O, it's best to receive your exact blood type - the match is easier for your body to handle. So I get the satisfaction of knowing my blood hopefully really helped someone, and the icing on the cake is that I'm a little bit special, unusual, rare, etc.

Just as I always suspected :)

Seriously kids - wear a rubber and get tested regularly. Don't be stupid like I was. You owe it to your health.

Goal for this year: lose 5 pounds.

This is a brand-new goal for me - I've never, ever dieted before. But I've been sitting on the couch for the last 10 months trying to find a job, and I'm starting to feel a little bit of the spread happening around the back part of my hips. Besides - just bought the cutest new swim suit from Victoria's Secret and I want the bottoms (S) to fit as perfectly as the top (M) does.

Stuff to do before my second date...

1. Put together an outfit that is both a) appropriate to the weather and b) somehow includes a pair of sexy high heels. May need to buy new clothes and/or shoes. Now might be the time to go shopping with those gifts cards to American Eagle and the Gap...it takes money to make money, amirite?

Note to self: wear lots of skirts around Boston. He's a leg man who likes obviously feminine clothing.

2. Buy/borrow/steal some tweezers and do my eyebrows. I lost my tweezers and I haven't done them in weeks. I know how much better my face looks with a perfectly arched brow. In fact I should try to do that today before I see my friend for lunch...must run out to the market.

3. Learn some about Boston (not the man - the city he grew up in) so we have something to talk about.

4. Buy some lipgloss and put some mints in my purse.

Whoo! Second date confirmed.

Just checked my email. From Boston: "Yes let's plan for later in the week."

Thank god! The worst of my period will be over by then and I'll be much better company.

Now the question: what to wear?

Free Love Is A Pipe Dream

or, The Old Rules Have Become Insuffient To Our Needs And Thus No Longer Apply

Urgh, nervousness. Haven't heard from Boston since his (very positive and affirming) texts immediately after our coffee date. He's the SD, so I feel like he should be courting/chasing me, not the other way around. It's tough to balance the "men like a good chase" thing with the "assertive men like assertive women" thing.

I don't have time for messing around - I need some cashflow, and I need it this week. Just started my new job but won't get paid til a week after bills are due. Sent him an email last night saying that I'd like to see him again and listing my free days this week. I suggested light stuff - lunch or a movie - but in reality I'd like him to come up with something more titilating, like hot-tubbing and champagne at his place, for example.

Whoops - my Boogie Nights fantasies are coming back around. Must keep reminding myself that this is the 00's (soon to be the 10's!) and that we are still living in the shadow of the never-slow-down 90's. People are too busy to live out their porn-star fantasies in avacado-colored conversation pits, beset on all sides by golden birdbaths filled to the brim with cocaine. Free love is a pipe dream - we would never be able to get through the first 10 minutes of our 17 person orgy before someone's Blackberry would bring us all crashing back to the relentless grind of the post-80's economy. Those times are gone with the wind. I blame Reagan.

Back on topic - as much as I want to pretend that this is a normal relationship, several parts of my brain (esp. the parts responsible for the monthly budget) are acutely aware that this is, at least to some degree, an artificial contrivance which may require unusual methods of stimulation to keep it growing and evolving. SD/SB relationships are actually quite far removed from the "natural pairing of fertile women with good providers" or any of that other natural-selection BS they try to pedal on the propaganda pages. Quite the opposite. It's the Frankenstein's monster of dating. At best, learning how to date like this successfully is a tight-rope act - the ultimate mix of business and pleasure. At worst, it's the delusional little sister of prostitution.

I'm in a mood from the bad back-ache due to my period, please excuse me if you're one of the 47 groups of people I manage to offend with this post. Just waiting for the ibuprophen to kick in. Yesterday I realized that I seem to harbor a latent desire for a Vicodin habit. Laying in bed crippled but unable to sleep, now seems like as good a time as any for the Magical Controlled Substances Fairy to descend from the heavens and bestow a little bottle of schedule III opiod analgesics on my delicate constitution.

Yeah, this has been a really ADD post. Now time to catch up on Weeds and do some homework.

Financial Considerations

Big news: I'm famous! Or at least, infamous. The wonderful SA blog quoted some of my questions.

Check it out here: http://www.seekingarrangement.com/blog/?p=175

Ugh, not feeling too sexy today. First day of my period. It's occurred to me that if I get an SD I'm going to have to be *extremely* scrupulous about keeping track of exactly when my period is going to come - both to guard against pregnancy and to prevent embarrassing surprises. My period is sort of my arch nemisis - it likes to fake me out with PMS symptoms for a few days, then lay low for a few, then sneak attack me. This also kind of throws things off - I was planning on seducing Boston this week so I could get the cash from him that I need to pay the beginning-of-the-month bills. Instead, it looks like it's time to sell the 55 inch TV. I'm a little sad - I love that TV - but if I get money from Boston next week then I can buy us an even nicer one - maybe something flat we could hang on the wall.


Not that there aren't plenty of ways to satisfy a man during that time of the month, but I'd be really happy if I could avoid feeling all bloated and messy and back-achey during our first kiss and/or make-out session.

I wonder how to bring up finances - I'm guessing we should go on Date Number Two and at least kiss and hold hands to see if there's a sexual spark there. We talked for a good hour before and have enough common interests to be friendly acquaintances, but who knows where the passion comes from?

I want this to be real - I don't want to have to fake this. In an ideal world, I would expect this to be a whirl-wind romance with my hormone-puzzle-piece-fitting partner. But this isn't Utopia, it's plain old crappy reality. And I know that in reality, for 2000+ a month, I would be willing to fake a couple of orgasms. God knows I've faked plenty before for free.

Which brings me back to money - I was originally looking for 2000 a month. 1200 for living expenses, 800 for fun. But on Boston's SA profile, his assistance range was 3K to 5K.

Now, I don't need 5K a month. I'm pretty sure having that much disposable income would simply encourage fiscal irresponsibility. Unlike the US government, I don't feel comfortable wasting thousands of dollars of someone else's money on frivolous things. Besides which, at a 5K/mo budget, I would feel uncomfortably indebted to him. Indentured, even. I would feel terrible any time he asked to see me and I couldn't because of work or school. I would never feel able to say No to him if he asked for something sexually I wasn't into, because then I would feel like a bad investment.

That said, I am an American and a staunch capitalist, and seeing a higher money-making potential than I originally anticipated is making bells and bright lights go off in my head. I know I would be a fool to accept less from a man who can easily afford it. So, the question of the day is, should I ask for 2500 or 3000/mo? I'm thinking I'll ask for 3000, and let him bargain me down if he likes. Or who knows? He might be totally fine with 3K and I'm just being neurotic. It's all just semantics to me at this point - once I have my monthly bills paid and a little put away for a rainy day, all the rest is just for fun anyway.

Thank god I have this blog to think out-loud on.