Free Love Is A Pipe Dream

or, The Old Rules Have Become Insuffient To Our Needs And Thus No Longer Apply

Urgh, nervousness. Haven't heard from Boston since his (very positive and affirming) texts immediately after our coffee date. He's the SD, so I feel like he should be courting/chasing me, not the other way around. It's tough to balance the "men like a good chase" thing with the "assertive men like assertive women" thing.

I don't have time for messing around - I need some cashflow, and I need it this week. Just started my new job but won't get paid til a week after bills are due. Sent him an email last night saying that I'd like to see him again and listing my free days this week. I suggested light stuff - lunch or a movie - but in reality I'd like him to come up with something more titilating, like hot-tubbing and champagne at his place, for example.

Whoops - my Boogie Nights fantasies are coming back around. Must keep reminding myself that this is the 00's (soon to be the 10's!) and that we are still living in the shadow of the never-slow-down 90's. People are too busy to live out their porn-star fantasies in avacado-colored conversation pits, beset on all sides by golden birdbaths filled to the brim with cocaine. Free love is a pipe dream - we would never be able to get through the first 10 minutes of our 17 person orgy before someone's Blackberry would bring us all crashing back to the relentless grind of the post-80's economy. Those times are gone with the wind. I blame Reagan.

Back on topic - as much as I want to pretend that this is a normal relationship, several parts of my brain (esp. the parts responsible for the monthly budget) are acutely aware that this is, at least to some degree, an artificial contrivance which may require unusual methods of stimulation to keep it growing and evolving. SD/SB relationships are actually quite far removed from the "natural pairing of fertile women with good providers" or any of that other natural-selection BS they try to pedal on the propaganda pages. Quite the opposite. It's the Frankenstein's monster of dating. At best, learning how to date like this successfully is a tight-rope act - the ultimate mix of business and pleasure. At worst, it's the delusional little sister of prostitution.

I'm in a mood from the bad back-ache due to my period, please excuse me if you're one of the 47 groups of people I manage to offend with this post. Just waiting for the ibuprophen to kick in. Yesterday I realized that I seem to harbor a latent desire for a Vicodin habit. Laying in bed crippled but unable to sleep, now seems like as good a time as any for the Magical Controlled Substances Fairy to descend from the heavens and bestow a little bottle of schedule III opiod analgesics on my delicate constitution.

Yeah, this has been a really ADD post. Now time to catch up on Weeds and do some homework.